Oprah and Me, we used to be so close

I am currently looking for a new job. Something in the area of publishing, entertainment or media since I have experience in those three things, primarily publishing. The other day as I was digging through my contacts I came across my International Radio and Television Society roster yearbook from 2001/2002. I forgot that Oprah and me were on the same page at one time!

It was the closest I will probably ever get to the Queen!

PS. Numbers are also listed in another area of the roster and Barbara Walters was in there so, just for shits and giggles, I called it and a lady at the other end answered “Barbara Walters' office” and I said “Sorry, wrong number" and hung up.

Beginning to Scream its Name

I will post soon about what has been going on in my life but for now I wanted to share this story from Andrew Sullivan. Please read it. It is a fear that every gay couple in the United States has, and yet it is something that a straight couple never thinks about. We are human beings. And our love is just as real and just as strong and, yes, just as valid.

Now to Andrew:

Some Republicans, including, sadly, all the presidential candidates, seem to think gay couples deserve no more protection than they can cobble together with private legal contracts. In Virginia, of course, even such contracts may be invalid. But they are also very perilous documents, especially in the kind of emergencies we all sometimes face. Here's a comment on Volokh from someone who knows just how tough it can be:

Even making the legal documents easier doesn't solve much. In my current state (Maryland), it's pretty easy to fill out an advance directive with a durable power of attorney for health care decisions - no notarization required, just a form you can get from the Attorney General's website. This doesn't stop hospitals from not only demanding to see the document before so much as permitting someone to visit his same sex partner, but from refusing to recognize it until their attorney and God knows who else reviews and verifies it to their satisfaction. One overcautious or homophobic nurse can seriously screw someone over even when they've taken all the steps they're supposed to take to ensure that their partner can visit and make decisions for them when they're incapacitated. And if a family member decides to make trouble, forget it.
By contrast, when I was seriously injured a few months into my marriage, all my husband had to say was "I'm her husband" and no one questioned his right to be there or to make decisions while I was unconscious. No one asked for proof. And we have different last names and (at the time) separate health insurance. "Husband" and "wife" are magic words in our society - all the well crafted legal documents in the world can't open the doors those simple syllables can.

The decision of any hostile family member to challenge the legal rights of a same-sex partner can be particularly brutal.

I remember a story told by a friend during the plague years. He was visiting a dying friend in hospital and a couple of beds down the ward from his friend, the curtains were drawn around a patient. From behind the curtains, he could hear a man softly singing a show-tune. "Well, at least that guy's keeping his spirits up," my friend remarked. "Actually," his dying friend replied, "the man in that bed died this morning and was taken away by his family. That's his boyfriend. The family won't let him go to the funeral or ever see his spouse's body again. They've kicked him out of their apartment. It wasn't his name on the lease. So he's just sitting there, singing their favorite song to an empty bed. It's the last time he'll get that close to his husband. The nurses didn't have the heart to tell him to leave yet. He's been there for hours."

You want to know why some of us feel so strongly about this? Remember that scene. We will - for ever. Civil marriage rights are indispensable. Gay people are second-class citizens and second-class human beings until we have them.

The Original Broadway Edna, Brilliant He

By HARVEY FIERSTEIN
Published: April 13, 2007
New York Times

AMERICA is watching Don Imus’s self-immolation in a state of shock and awe. And I’m watching America with wry amusement.


Since I’m a second-class citizen — a gay man — my seats for the ballgame of American discourse are way back in the bleachers. I don’t have to wait long for a shock jock or stand-up comedian to slip up with hateful epithets aimed at me and mine. Hate speak against homosexuals is as commonplace as spam. It’s daily traffic for those who profess themselves to be regular Joes, men of God, public servants who live off my tax dollars, as well as any number of celebrities.


In fact, I get a good chuckle whenever someone refers to “the media” as an agent of “the gay agenda.” There are entire channels, like Spike TV, that couldn’t fill an hour of programming if required to remove their sexist and homophobic content. We’ve got a president and a large part of Congress willing to change the Constitution so they can deprive of us our rights because they feel we are not “normal.”


So I’m used to catching foul balls up here in the cheap seats. What I am really enjoying is watching the rest of you act as if you had no idea that prejudice was alive and well in your hearts and minds.


For the past two decades political correctness has been derided as a surrender to thin-skinned, humorless, uptight oversensitive sissies. Well, you anti-politically correct people have won the battle, and we’re all now feasting on the spoils of your victory. During the last few months alone we’ve had a few comedians spout racism, a basketball coach put forth anti-Semitism and several high-profile spoutings of anti-gay epithets.


What surprises me, I guess, is how choosy the anti-P.C. crowd is about which hate speech it will not tolerate. Sure, there were voices of protest when the TV actor Isaiah Washington called a gay colleague a “faggot.” But corporate America didn’t pull its advertising from “Grey’s Anatomy,” as it did with Mr. Imus, did it? And when Ann Coulter likewise tagged a presidential candidate last month, she paid no real price.


In fact, when Bill Maher discussed Ms. Coulter’s remarks on his HBO show, he repeated the slur no fewer than four times himself; each mention, I must note, solicited a laugh from his audience. No one called for any sort of apology from him. (Well, actually, I did, so the following week he only used it once.)


Face it, if a Pentagon general, his salary paid with my tax dollars, can label homosexual acts as “immoral” without a call for his dismissal, who are the moral high and mighty kidding?
Our nation, historically bursting with generosity toward strangers, remains remarkably unkind toward its own. Just under our gleaming patina of inclusiveness, we harbor corroding guts. America, I tell you that it doesn’t matter how many times you brush your teeth. If your insides are rotting your breath will stink. So, how do you people choose which hate to embrace, which to forgive with a wink and a week in rehab, and which to protest? Where’s my copy of that rule book?


Let me cite a non-volatile example of how prejudice can cohabit unchecked with good intentions. I am a huge fan of David Letterman’s. I watch the opening of his show a couple of times a week and have done so for decades. Without fail, in his opening monologue or skit Mr. Letterman makes a joke about someone being fat. I kid you not. Will that destroy our nation? Should he be fired or lose his sponsors? Obviously not.


But I think that there is something deeper going on at the Letterman studio than coincidence. And, as I’ve said, I cite this example simply to illustrate that all kinds of prejudice exist in the human heart. Some are harmless. Some not so harmless. But we need to understand who we are if we wish to change. (In the interest of full disclosure, I should confess to not only being a gay American, but also a fat one. Yes, I’m a double winner.)


I urge you to look around, or better yet, listen around and become aware of the prejudice in everyday life. We are so surrounded by expressions of intolerance that I am in shock and awe that anyone noticed all these recent high-profile instances. Still, I’m gladdened because our no longer being deaf to them may signal their eventual eradication.


The real point is that you cannot harbor malice toward others and then cry foul when someone displays intolerance against you. Prejudice tolerated is intolerance encouraged. Rise up in righteousness when you witness the words and deeds of hate, but only if you are willing to rise up against them all, including your own. Otherwise suffer the slings and arrows of disrespect silently.

Harvey Fierstein is an actor and playwright.

"I can have oodles of charm when I want to"

1922-2007

The excitement was palpable. Everyone in the offices wondered if it was a big hoax. Could it be true that he was going to do a signing, give a speech or even darken the door of one of our stores?

It was true. He showed up and was as ornery as he was charming. And a boy, just 24 years old from Texas, was responsible for the whole thing.

There are moments in life that I will never forget. On a spring evening in 2001 Kurt Vonnegut gave me one of those moments.

"There is no beautifier of complexion or form of behavior like the wish to scatter joy, and not pain, around us."

I decided to title this post with a quote from Emerson. Last night, on the occasion of Ric’s 50th birthday, we “[scattered] joy”! Since this is the first significant post on my new blog I thought it would be nice to start on an upbeat note. Don’t get used to it though, because future posts are not going to be upbeat at all.

For my husband’s big day I decided to surprise him by taking him to his favorite restaurant and then to see Hairspray. My friend Michael (a Broadway, television and movie actor) arranged for one of his friends in the show to give us a backstage tour after the show.

All the pictures are pretty self explanatory except the first. I cut out the bottom of a hairspray bottle, put the tickets inside and put the bottle in a Duane-Reade bag.

The night was incredible.

Four Days to Nowhere Fast

“How do you not hate those who have loaded their bibles and armed their disciples, ‘cause I don’t know anymore”
Susan Werner from her song Forgiveness on her album, The Gospel Truth

This blog will begin on Wednesday, April 11. See you all then!